i could definiely say that some people could appreciate me in their own way. but as of now. those whom i want to appreciate me. turn their backs. aba pake ko. i shouldn't really care or anything. especially that even if i try to show them i care, they wouldn't bother to ask.
life could suck, BIG TIME. but then you realize that there are people here who friggin loves you. so maybe, im the one not appreciating. so i guess i do, make that mistake too.
i sucked this week.
first off, we made chocolates for our NSTP requirement. we selled all we could. naubos nga actually. but now, we dont know what to do. HAHAHA. e pano, kami lang yung nagbenta. sbi nila 2nd sem pa daw yun. or whatever.
then tuesday, we had a psych quiz. which really sucked because i didn't review much and sir pauls favorite hobby, was not there. indi siya nagbigay ng additional points for that quiz. sucks for me. ara actually got a higher grade than i did.
and for next week, super duper daming requirements and stuff.
oh crap. i didnt even get to buy my mom a birtdhay present for sunday. kasi ive been working for these people who never paid me. great huh?!
plus. im still happy.
because i am back to communicating with mae. and rynah.
i really can't take my mind of that time van gave me words i wouldn't ever regret hearing. (or reading that is)
"if thats really the case now, kung ganyan na tlga ugali nila, just accept the fact na ganun na tlga, dun ka nlng mag focus sa pinapahalagahan ka at yung totoo sayo, friendship is not based on how many u have, but how the friendship is really strong kahit na nagkakagulo may innitiative parin magkaayos.. at binibilang yung totoo ndi yung mga taong kaya ka lang iwan at saktan, ndi sila worth para sayo, find ur gold. those true golds u have.. and just focus on them.. ayt"
strong words could make me really realize a lot of things. believe me, right after she said that, bumalik ako sa mga taong alam kong pinapahalagahan ako. i communicated with mae again. even thought she's in australia. i called rynah, and i talked to mark! and i dont regret doing that. they are the gold.
sila trish may have been my friends. and madami kami e. uh. all 13 of us?! (including dbb). and all teh effort i did. was quite nothing to them. actually all the effort me and marvin did for her. ang niyakap niya was those. err. hahaha. i love them and all. but, i'm happier with those who appreciate me and i appreciate back. i need those who need me back. that's all i want and need. she called me up yesterday, and kuya was using the phone. all i heard was "pau, i'm back". i told her i'd call her back. but i never did. i feel quite guilty. but i had my reasons. there wasn't anything left anymore. wala na akong ears to listen to her crap. her crap that ive been listening to. and everytime i needed her to listen, she had to say something about the crap again. i guess im just fed up. that's all. i'm still here for her, all i needed was for her to realize that i was slipping away already. and maybe until now, she doesn't realize that. on day she will...
and then i'll be happy all the way. both of us will be happy. <3
[pau]
happy birthday bryan manaog.
happy birthday ate juno javier.
bye trish. take care.
congratulations raiza.
[pau]
because of this very crappy message na kanina ko pa tintry isend sa email na ayaw magsend ilang taon na ang nakalipas!!! naisipan kong... magentry. :)
so hey. sup people. long time a. after this week that ive been VERY ULTIMATE BUSY (pero hindi talaga). LOL. i want to say sorry ulit kay yeye. again and again and again.....
ADVENTURE
yesterday, i did something. for someone. trish siyempre. wala nang iba. *don't worry she never reads my blog*
after my FIL I class, *I HATE MY VERY UNJUST GRADE* i had practice with kuyajustice and ianne, and with the entertainment of com. students na wala talaga dapat dun, sila van , tricia and marj. (i dont even know why i had to tell you that.)
since we had practice, i bought along my guitar to this adventure. date kami ng guitar ko. *actually tito dic's guitar* <3
-- i went to FEU to meet joie and get her letter for trish. so i rode the jeep (not knowing where i'm going). i saw mark amul pass by the street aaaaand. aiun. i went down sa kfc morayta *whatever*. i was in the middle of a large crowd inside KFC and this crowd were people in green skirts and green pants. while i, pau, WAS IN A BLUE SKIRT. talk about center of attention. so nagkita na kami ni joie, she gave me a kiss and a hug *awwws*, then i left.
-- i went to e. rod to meet with aljon and naps para makuha na din yung letter nila. pagbaba ko ng jollibee, they were with 3 girls and a guy in a very very bright apple green shirt na parang suot ng mga janitor sa smc. suddenly, si nic pala yun. HAHAHA! nung naglalakad ako palapit, i saw someone crying, with his gf hugging him *awwws again*. alangan namang i come there and say *---- anung problema?* bastusan naaa! HAHAHA. then nic came to me and said he wanted to talk. so there, nagusap kami, he said sorry. blablabla. then after umalis yung girls, nagusapusap kami and chu-chu whatever. basta basta! then ayun, yung letter na dapat kukunin ko, di manlang nahawakan ng mga kamay ko. sabi nila ibang plan nalang daw. amfff. EFFORT?!! so me, runts and nic went to gateway para makasakay na akong LRT. to....
-- go to katips so i rode the LRT alone. with the guitar. and myself. and me. yikessss. it was scary, of course. but it was okay. one station from gateway lang naman yun e. so pagbaba ko ng station. i didn't know where to go anymore. thanks to mark, nawalan siya ng load! and when i was in the point of getting really lost na, he called me up bigla. HAHA. then yun, andun kami sa jollibee with ice writing her letter *while hale having a concert in her school ng di niya alam baket*
-- then we went back to gateway. habang nasa LRT kami ni bantayan we kept on practicing how he should act toward nic and trish basta tawa kami ng tawa. then when we got there, parang wala lang! nagbabati-bati lang sila! wala nang usap-usap! GALING NOH?! haha. aiun. then i finally ate lunch at 3pm.*libre ni mark. thanks*
i couldn't really tell the whole story sa as of how i felt that time. because all i wanted was for trish to have a happy debut and for our barkada to stay strong. and at the end of the day, people just take what i did na as if i was super mali or something. like thinking na may masama akong balak or na ang insensitive ko or THAT GUY TAKING ALL THE STUPID PAKIN CREDIT. for all he cares, umiyak lang ata siya sken just so masabi niya kay trish that he's so kawawa e. urgh. i don't even care anymore if he read this blog. because it seems so true!
still. i was happy. kasi si kuyajaysee ang bait bait e. he's so cool. para siyang si juni my ever beloved bestfriend. super pareho mga banat nila and stuff. kasi kinwento ko kay kuyajaysee yun then he said something like "you're my heroine! blablabla..." that was the first and last time someone would call me his heroine even though i didn't do anything for him. he's so cool. <3
and another thing, he gave me this very super duper nice black "guitar-ish" necklace from they're immersion in bataan. wahaha. birthday niya lastweek, siya pa nagregalo sken e noh! but truly absolutely got my taste there. astig talaga. thanks kuyajaysee. :D
and noww..... all i can think about is season four of one tree hill and the thing one friday. its not that "i hope i'd win" sorta thing. its more of, "im afraid of what they'll say" thing. so, i just hope i'd do my best. HOPE. :p
(oh yeah. and btw. mama HAS NO IDEA i wasn't in school today. pero nfreecut talaga kami due to tamad professor. so i'd appreciate it if nobody told her. but if someone did. i would know my exact words for her. sa totoo lang.)
belated happy birthday to batman a.k.a. ben and to dane. have more to come! ;)
[pau]
I AM GUILT-Y.
this goes to my bestfriend. mae.
I AM SO SORRY. i know you are truly very very dissapointed with me right now for not greeting you nung burthday mo. but i had plans for you. honestly.
i was supposed to send you a package. BUT, things happened. so, aiun. and since you're my bestest friend, i am hoping you'd understand.
sooooooo. ayun. ito nalang. even though its not truly enough especially for not greeting you on time...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEYE.
I MISS YOU.
and pramis, nung sept.7 i only thought of how i could make you happier
kahit im not there! i wish i could!
AYLABYU. :)
[pau]