mixed emotions
so truly, whats up with missing my friends. i mean, the one in high school. those i spent 6yrs of my life with. and a certain number of 8 girls who promised to keep in touch. now. having own lives. i may be really busy. just like them. but i do my best to keep in touch! and the hell with that, being emo doesn't even work for them. so fine, then i'll leave it like that. what do i even get if i keep on trying to force them to meet up with me. if i was in their shoes, i might even also NOT WANT to.
i can't help to think. i actually have more communication with my bestfriend in australia (btw. i miss you mae). how come that could happen?! is it that hard to be in college?! to not even give me a single "Ü"?!!!! I AM MAD AT THEM. ALL. but i can't show it. why?! BECAUSE! because they'll make up this stupid speech like "pau, ang oa mo. we're busy and you know that. you're always emo about this.... blablablabla. give it a break." FINE. i will. NOW. now that i am in need of friends. friends whom ive known. and knows me. friends who promised to actually BE friends "forever" *kuno*. and friends who said "we'll show them what real friendship means." kuya was actually right for telling me before that these high school friends aren't what i expect them to be.. SOMEDAY. SOMEONE PLEASE PROVE HIM WRONG. coz im doing my part here. i really am. especially now that the people in school are. not exactly like those i had before. they're really really different. except for "some" i say. and while i thought of this today. today wherein rain, ice and ish was supposed to come here. or rain and i will be visiting zel. or kuyazack and i go to the SK. i went to sm with kuya tonight and... saw roujo, iggy, dianna, ezi (and random girl). BAKIT SILA?! kaya nila yun! wtf. gr. gr. gr. a thousand grs.
so since this whole thing has been bothering me, i wanted to meet up with my oh-so-beloved bestfriend (julius) tomorow. he was inviting. to watch simpsons. and as i am actually desperate to BE with a friend. I WANTED TO GO. but no. another emotion comes up. my mom is acting very. weird. masungit! sobra. but then, masaya. ugh. what the. well. its called "moodswings". she gets alot of them recently. i don't know if dahil yun menopause na siya. or she's simply stressed with all the work. so since i have to ask her if i could go out. i can't. i can't ask. because i am guilty for no reason. maybe because i have done NOTHING to calm her down. all i did was sleep and study and blab about my boring life online. what help is that?! no-thing. so. yes. sabi sken ni bez, go ask her and calm her down. whatever's bothering her. (thanks nga pala besh) WEEELLL. i can't even ask her. because she's stuck on the laptop. checking the work of teh teachers. and stuff. i don't even know how hard it could be. she could just read and grammar check, etc. btu it takes her a thousand deacades to finish THREE. yes. three. grabe diba?! so now. i can't even go out with my bestfriend because of her moodswings. and her mouth and mind that keeps on thinking and saying that im always out. (which im not). oa kasi magisip yan e. kala mo may gyera sa pilipinas kapaglalabas ako ng bahay without a chaperone that she knows. talk about being in jail!! haha. so thats what came into my mind.
moodswinging mom + midterm week + no money + a wedding tomorow = missing my bestfriend more and more.
great huh? nope nope nope. :(
so now. there's not much i could do. just. be me. be someone. who studies very hard to get a high score in my exams. and STOP THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEVER CARE.
before i end this entry. i have one more emotion to put. your decision what emeotion it is. :)
this week, before all this drama.i found out that FALL OUT BOY is having their tour here! YAYS! yay yay yay. so, we were really excited. super duper excited. that we all planned everything out. who to come with and which tickets to buy. specifically. julius, zel, choy, lian, jed and chali. palang. im pretty sure there's more to come. soooo. aiun. happy kami. then this morning, karl texted me and said, that PARAMORE IS GOING TO BE THEIR OPENING BAND!!! omg omg omg. HAHAHA. i was shouting. just when i got down. i didn't even brush my teeth then. haha. i could still taste that morning breath while shouting. *YUUUUCK* hahaha. so mama was asking whats up with me. then i told her about it. she said i could come. not directly. but like "so who are you going with?" soemthing like that. YAAAAAAAY. antagal ko na talagang pnangarap yun. haha. i called up chali and zel. siyempre. ito si zel nakitili sken. dream talaga nmen matagal na yun e. to meet paramore. or to see them live. END HERE IT IS. crap. so. whats up now?! weeellll.. pwede nako mamatay pagkatapos ng september 21st!!! hahaha. funny. but thats true. not all of you may know how much paramore caught my heart. so. this is, 48 days of excitement. goodluck to me!!! :))
[pau]