as written on: Thursday, August 30, 2007
i am having a very hard time to blog, so i'll do it in a new way.
SCHOOL:
what a very funny field trip experience we had today. you know, i do consider college as "not good", but there are these moments that makes me reconsider. HAHAHA. as if anybody cares. really. :p
so anyways, after i got "some" of our midterm grades. uh. 3 out of the ten subjects we have. i was really happy. why?! because! basta. haha. good person makes good grades. LOL. so there, surprisingly. i did get good grades. too good to be true actually! although nobody else is proud of me, i am proud of myself. thats how it has always been. me being there for me. something normal. haha.
one more thing i like about school is Nara being there. she makes things so much better for me. not in the way that she comforts me or anything. she's korean, so she couldn't relate to me as much. but, she has this way of making people happy. especially me. i love it when i translate all the lectures and conversations to her, when she speaks tagalog in her very korean accent, when she's very eager to learn things, when she laughs so much with us even though she has NO IDEA of what we're talking about, the way she's so ignorant of so many things like riding the jeep and she asks me all these questions i just LOVE answering, and the best. when she wears my highschool I.D. all day and puts it beside her face, smiles like me and shows it to everybody... i just love nara. <3
HOME:
uh. its been better. can't say much. kasi baka umulit nanaman. those reading my blog must be relly confused. HAHAHA.
meralco just cut down the trees infront of our house. and as for me, it was a very big surprise. naalala niyo yung night that it said in the news na may lunar eclips? that was the day they cut those trees down. as a moon fanatic lunatic, i looked for the red moon. but i didn't see it. sad. :( so after we walked cookie and then i took a bath then slept. in the morning, when i woke up. nakita ko yung sky!!!! IT WAS WHITE! literally white! no sky blue, no nothing. PLAIN WHITE. i was afraid. akala ko mageend of the world na. and mama wasn't beside me anymore. akala ko it was a dream. sobrang nasilaw kasi ako sa sky talaga. it was so bright. so i didn't get up and i closed my eyes. i was thinking *shet. baka yung lunar eclipse, wala talaga. it was all dark last night. no moon. tapos today, no sun, just plain white sky, which means. END OF THE WORLD. OMG.* and then, i fell asleep. when i woke up again. i realized it wasn't a dream. and, the sky wasn't pure white at all. it was just that i wasn't used to the trees not being there infront of our windows. i usually wake up still under the dark. hahaha. so there. it isn't the end of the world after all. i still have time to make up for the wrongs i have done. :)
FRIENDS:
i don't even know why i have to mention this. but.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS CRAP.
*learn that. it sucks even more because you're exchanging more than 4yrs of friendship
for a nonsense relationship. anybody could prove that.*
but still. i love you sis... <3
[pau]
as written on: Tuesday, August 28, 2007
i love sleep. <3
because of the suspension of classes for the past 2 weeks, i have realized how much i love sleep. i am to tell you how much its been helping me.
-- sleep made me take a rest from all those physical things i've been doing. an example is. P.E. which is not done by our class. because, wala kaming prof. for reasons that we don't really care about. so, pag walang P.E. kung sansan na kami napapadpad ni ianne. kaya naman ako'y pagod. hahaha.
-- it helps me not think of things. like. homework. or birthdays. or how to budget my money. and loads of other stuff teens like me think about. (alam na. haha.)
-- problems. I TAKE A BREAK from all of it! as in. when i sleep, i dont get all ouchy in my head thinking of everything i hate, or whatever. thats something sleep does for me. REALLY SOMETHING.
-- and lastly, i come and visit dream land. to let you know, dream land is my land! happy e. i seldom get bad dreams, sa sobrang himbing ba naman ng tulog ko. pag ako nabigyan pa ng nightmares. i'll be mad at the world. harhar. :D
people. i am sorry for this very weird post. but i can't help it. sleeping is literally my life! hahaha. :p
[pau]
as written on: Thursday, August 23, 2007
im sorry for my last post. i just deleted it.
bad.
i might talk to a specific somebody muna rather than throwing words that people might take the wrong way. sooooo, there.
*thank you yam & maryel. super.*
[pau]
as written on: Saturday, August 18, 2007
.and again.
my ever beloved fone goes. gone. away. please mourn with me. :
so maybe what i did with it was very wrong. this very incident made me realize something. that maybe, material things also do have feelings. like humans.
my 3310, which i think was my 2nd fone. had the exact same experience as this one. sobrang cheap na nga ng mga fone ko kinakawawa ko pa. huhu. poor them (or it?)
sometimes, when we're mad at someone, we tend to throw things. because we want to "just let it out". diba?
for anybosy else's information. i'm that kind of person. i like being physically hurt and physically lettng it out like shouting and punching the walls or whatever they call it, rather that thinking of being emotionally hurt. anyways, o siyempre. kapag galit ako. or may nagtext sken na bwisit. or nagtext ako sa friends ko because i needed comfort but nobody replies, it hurts alot. so the tendency is, to throw that single thing your holding. because I AM MAD. and i want to let it out. hindi mo naman mapipigilan yun eh! its like an involuntary thing. for me. haha.
so there, i have done that alot of times to my poor ol' fone. or in other words, sinasaktan ko siya. at hindi niya na kinaya, it gave up on me. siguro sabi ng fone ko saken, "ako nnga lang nagtitiis sayo di mo pko maalagaan!! anong klase ka magmahal." WUHUHUHUHU. *that sounds extremely familiar* haiun. my fone is now undergoing being dead for the whole day and to follow: the whole week. i am so sad. :(
my ever beloved fone goes. gone. away. please mourn with me. :
so maybe what i did with it was very wrong. this very incident made me realize something. that maybe, material things also do have feelings. like humans.
my 3310, which i think was my 2nd fone. had the exact same experience as this one. sobrang cheap na nga ng mga fone ko kinakawawa ko pa. huhu. poor them (or it?)
sometimes, when we're mad at someone, we tend to throw things. because we want to "just let it out". diba?
for anybosy else's information. i'm that kind of person. i like being physically hurt and physically lettng it out like shouting and punching the walls or whatever they call it, rather that thinking of being emotionally hurt. anyways, o siyempre. kapag galit ako. or may nagtext sken na bwisit. or nagtext ako sa friends ko because i needed comfort but nobody replies, it hurts alot. so the tendency is, to throw that single thing your holding. because I AM MAD. and i want to let it out. hindi mo naman mapipigilan yun eh! its like an involuntary thing. for me. haha.
so there, i have done that alot of times to my poor ol' fone. or in other words, sinasaktan ko siya. at hindi niya na kinaya, it gave up on me. siguro sabi ng fone ko saken, "ako nnga lang nagtitiis sayo di mo pko maalagaan!! anong klase ka magmahal." WUHUHUHUHU. *that sounds extremely familiar* haiun. my fone is now undergoing being dead for the whole day and to follow: the whole week. i am so sad. :(
patawad aking telepono! sana'y maintindihan mo ang
aking kalagayan. patawad!! ika'y magablik! maawa ka!!!
[pau]
as written on: Sunday, August 12, 2007
what happened yesterday?! bad day. but at the end. it was kinda worth it.--i had a bad start. ang hirap ng exam sa nat. sci. HUHUHU. :( 150 items plus 2 articles na gagawan nmen ng reaction paper in one sitting. *ouch*
--P.E. & ICT exams.
--wait for lian at 7-11. (giftwrapping section)
--go home with lian and then go to mike's party realizing that i was kinda sick already.
nung una yung crowd, 5 lang kami. namely jaime, me, rain, lian and iggy. tapos biglang dami na. HAHAHA. shocking. :p dami tao. parang reunion. it was really great seeing them again. super. LALO NA SI ZEL!!!! yaaaaaay. :)
so that day wasn't so bad after all. i actually felt better kahit some weren't expected i'd see. HAHA.
*yeye, sorry for being emo ha. nakakaasar mundo e. btw. i have good news. pero not sure pa. irreply ko nalang sa msg mo after you send it to me about "your friend". okiedokes? i miss you. :p*
[pau]
as written on: Thursday, August 9, 2007
funny. i find it very normal that i am willing to post without anything going into my mind to put. im supposed to be studying for my midterms (HELL WITH NAT. SCI.) but instead, i passed by devian art just now. and guess what i found. :D
this amazingly shocked me. first of all, HER BUTT IS OFF TO SEE THE WORLD. but thats okay. i mean, lahat naman tayo may puwet e diba? hahaha. and, its kinda normal for them already. so i dont really find anything wrong with it. just that i had to comment about it. HAHAHA. second, im sure that hurts like hell!! and, she's a girl. egad. some brave woman huh?! althoooooouuugh, i think thats really sweet of her guy to hold her hand. it lessens the pain *im sure*. and lastly, ANG GALING NUNG TATOO-ing guy. very very very. i wish i could tatoo people like that. hahaha. *wish* so obviously, there's nothing more to write! so thats it.
btw. her blood is out to get her. >:))
[pau]
(COOKIE *the person*, what is wrong with the world?!!)
as written on: Saturday, August 4, 2007
mixed emotions
so truly, whats up with missing my friends. i mean, the one in high school. those i spent 6yrs of my life with. and a certain number of 8 girls who promised to keep in touch. now. having own lives. i may be really busy. just like them. but i do my best to keep in touch! and the hell with that, being emo doesn't even work for them. so fine, then i'll leave it like that. what do i even get if i keep on trying to force them to meet up with me. if i was in their shoes, i might even also NOT WANT to.
i can't help to think. i actually have more communication with my bestfriend in australia (btw. i miss you mae). how come that could happen?! is it that hard to be in college?! to not even give me a single "Ü"?!!!! I AM MAD AT THEM. ALL. but i can't show it. why?! BECAUSE! because they'll make up this stupid speech like "pau, ang oa mo. we're busy and you know that. you're always emo about this.... blablablabla. give it a break." FINE. i will. NOW. now that i am in need of friends. friends whom ive known. and knows me. friends who promised to actually BE friends "forever" *kuno*. and friends who said "we'll show them what real friendship means." kuya was actually right for telling me before that these high school friends aren't what i expect them to be.. SOMEDAY. SOMEONE PLEASE PROVE HIM WRONG. coz im doing my part here. i really am. especially now that the people in school are. not exactly like those i had before. they're really really different. except for "some" i say. and while i thought of this today. today wherein rain, ice and ish was supposed to come here. or rain and i will be visiting zel. or kuyazack and i go to the SK. i went to sm with kuya tonight and... saw roujo, iggy, dianna, ezi (and random girl). BAKIT SILA?! kaya nila yun! wtf. gr. gr. gr. a thousand grs.
so since this whole thing has been bothering me, i wanted to meet up with my oh-so-beloved bestfriend (julius) tomorow. he was inviting. to watch simpsons. and as i am actually desperate to BE with a friend. I WANTED TO GO. but no. another emotion comes up. my mom is acting very. weird. masungit! sobra. but then, masaya. ugh. what the. well. its called "moodswings". she gets alot of them recently. i don't know if dahil yun menopause na siya. or she's simply stressed with all the work. so since i have to ask her if i could go out. i can't. i can't ask. because i am guilty for no reason. maybe because i have done NOTHING to calm her down. all i did was sleep and study and blab about my boring life online. what help is that?! no-thing. so. yes. sabi sken ni bez, go ask her and calm her down. whatever's bothering her. (thanks nga pala besh) WEEELLL. i can't even ask her. because she's stuck on the laptop. checking the work of teh teachers. and stuff. i don't even know how hard it could be. she could just read and grammar check, etc. btu it takes her a thousand deacades to finish THREE. yes. three. grabe diba?! so now. i can't even go out with my bestfriend because of her moodswings. and her mouth and mind that keeps on thinking and saying that im always out. (which im not). oa kasi magisip yan e. kala mo may gyera sa pilipinas kapaglalabas ako ng bahay without a chaperone that she knows. talk about being in jail!! haha. so thats what came into my mind.
moodswinging mom + midterm week + no money + a wedding tomorow = missing my bestfriend more and more.
great huh? nope nope nope. :(
so now. there's not much i could do. just. be me. be someone. who studies very hard to get a high score in my exams. and STOP THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEVER CARE.
before i end this entry. i have one more emotion to put. your decision what emeotion it is. :)
this week, before all this drama.i found out that FALL OUT BOY is having their tour here! YAYS! yay yay yay. so, we were really excited. super duper excited. that we all planned everything out. who to come with and which tickets to buy. specifically. julius, zel, choy, lian, jed and chali. palang. im pretty sure there's more to come. soooo. aiun. happy kami. then this morning, karl texted me and said, that PARAMORE IS GOING TO BE THEIR OPENING BAND!!! omg omg omg. HAHAHA. i was shouting. just when i got down. i didn't even brush my teeth then. haha. i could still taste that morning breath while shouting. *YUUUUCK* hahaha. so mama was asking whats up with me. then i told her about it. she said i could come. not directly. but like "so who are you going with?" soemthing like that. YAAAAAAAY. antagal ko na talagang pnangarap yun. haha. i called up chali and zel. siyempre. ito si zel nakitili sken. dream talaga nmen matagal na yun e. to meet paramore. or to see them live. END HERE IT IS. crap. so. whats up now?! weeellll.. pwede nako mamatay pagkatapos ng september 21st!!! hahaha. funny. but thats true. not all of you may know how much paramore caught my heart. so. this is, 48 days of excitement. goodluck to me!!! :))
so truly, whats up with missing my friends. i mean, the one in high school. those i spent 6yrs of my life with. and a certain number of 8 girls who promised to keep in touch. now. having own lives. i may be really busy. just like them. but i do my best to keep in touch! and the hell with that, being emo doesn't even work for them. so fine, then i'll leave it like that. what do i even get if i keep on trying to force them to meet up with me. if i was in their shoes, i might even also NOT WANT to.
i can't help to think. i actually have more communication with my bestfriend in australia (btw. i miss you mae). how come that could happen?! is it that hard to be in college?! to not even give me a single "Ü"?!!!! I AM MAD AT THEM. ALL. but i can't show it. why?! BECAUSE! because they'll make up this stupid speech like "pau, ang oa mo. we're busy and you know that. you're always emo about this.... blablablabla. give it a break." FINE. i will. NOW. now that i am in need of friends. friends whom ive known. and knows me. friends who promised to actually BE friends "forever" *kuno*. and friends who said "we'll show them what real friendship means." kuya was actually right for telling me before that these high school friends aren't what i expect them to be.. SOMEDAY. SOMEONE PLEASE PROVE HIM WRONG. coz im doing my part here. i really am. especially now that the people in school are. not exactly like those i had before. they're really really different. except for "some" i say. and while i thought of this today. today wherein rain, ice and ish was supposed to come here. or rain and i will be visiting zel. or kuyazack and i go to the SK. i went to sm with kuya tonight and... saw roujo, iggy, dianna, ezi (and random girl). BAKIT SILA?! kaya nila yun! wtf. gr. gr. gr. a thousand grs.
so since this whole thing has been bothering me, i wanted to meet up with my oh-so-beloved bestfriend (julius) tomorow. he was inviting. to watch simpsons. and as i am actually desperate to BE with a friend. I WANTED TO GO. but no. another emotion comes up. my mom is acting very. weird. masungit! sobra. but then, masaya. ugh. what the. well. its called "moodswings". she gets alot of them recently. i don't know if dahil yun menopause na siya. or she's simply stressed with all the work. so since i have to ask her if i could go out. i can't. i can't ask. because i am guilty for no reason. maybe because i have done NOTHING to calm her down. all i did was sleep and study and blab about my boring life online. what help is that?! no-thing. so. yes. sabi sken ni bez, go ask her and calm her down. whatever's bothering her. (thanks nga pala besh) WEEELLL. i can't even ask her. because she's stuck on the laptop. checking the work of teh teachers. and stuff. i don't even know how hard it could be. she could just read and grammar check, etc. btu it takes her a thousand deacades to finish THREE. yes. three. grabe diba?! so now. i can't even go out with my bestfriend because of her moodswings. and her mouth and mind that keeps on thinking and saying that im always out. (which im not). oa kasi magisip yan e. kala mo may gyera sa pilipinas kapaglalabas ako ng bahay without a chaperone that she knows. talk about being in jail!! haha. so thats what came into my mind.
moodswinging mom + midterm week + no money + a wedding tomorow = missing my bestfriend more and more.
great huh? nope nope nope. :(
so now. there's not much i could do. just. be me. be someone. who studies very hard to get a high score in my exams. and STOP THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEVER CARE.
before i end this entry. i have one more emotion to put. your decision what emeotion it is. :)
this week, before all this drama.i found out that FALL OUT BOY is having their tour here! YAYS! yay yay yay. so, we were really excited. super duper excited. that we all planned everything out. who to come with and which tickets to buy. specifically. julius, zel, choy, lian, jed and chali. palang. im pretty sure there's more to come. soooo. aiun. happy kami. then this morning, karl texted me and said, that PARAMORE IS GOING TO BE THEIR OPENING BAND!!! omg omg omg. HAHAHA. i was shouting. just when i got down. i didn't even brush my teeth then. haha. i could still taste that morning breath while shouting. *YUUUUCK* hahaha. so mama was asking whats up with me. then i told her about it. she said i could come. not directly. but like "so who are you going with?" soemthing like that. YAAAAAAAY. antagal ko na talagang pnangarap yun. haha. i called up chali and zel. siyempre. ito si zel nakitili sken. dream talaga nmen matagal na yun e. to meet paramore. or to see them live. END HERE IT IS. crap. so. whats up now?! weeellll.. pwede nako mamatay pagkatapos ng september 21st!!! hahaha. funny. but thats true. not all of you may know how much paramore caught my heart. so. this is, 48 days of excitement. goodluck to me!!! :))
[pau]
.THE SLACKER.
im not perfect. and i
don't want to be.
"once you read this life, you might be influenced
by it. or you're too safe not to be."
see you around human.
study your heart.
.WATCHING YOU GO.
.REMINDS ME OF.
March 2009
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